If there’s one thing that most parents and carers hope for more than anything, it’s that the child in their care grows up feeling safe and secure.
We want them to be empowered, resilient and have a sense of safety in the knowledge they are loved, valued and appreciated for exactly who they are.
Ultimately, this secure foundation helps children weather the storms of life. It gives them the resilience to cope with disappointment, handle setbacks and bounce back when things don’t go to plan.
So how do you establish this strong foundation? Here are five top tips to help your child feel safe and secure.
Be the adult
As parents and carers, our job is to be the responsible adult in our child’s life. We are there to guide and protect them, offering unconditional love and support.
It is our job to set the limits, create the schedule and follow through with discipline, even when a decision or course of action may not be to the child’s liking.
And there’s an important distinction here. As the parent, we are not there to seek validation from the child, but rather create clear boundaries and establish clear roles that give the child certainty.
Routines and schedules
A key element of helping a child feel safe and secure involves creating a predictable environment, where they can anticipate what will happen.
This comes down to routines and schedules that allow the child to understand what is expected to occur at specific times.
These routines foster a sense of certainty, and are particularly valuable to children who may feel anxious or nervous.
Following through
Creating guidelines and routines means nothing if the parent or carer does not follow through. Doing what you say you will, fosters a sense of trust that’s important in both good and bad situations.
For example, clear boundaries help the child understand what’s acceptable and what’s not. Following through then demonstrates that there are repercussions for negative behaviour.
But follow through isn’t just about discipline. It’s also doing what you say you will, whether that’s picking a child up at a certain time, or buying them something you promised.
Be present and available
Beyond all else, children want to feel safe in the knowledge they are loved. They want the security that someone who has their back and loves nothing more than spending time with them.
That’s why it’s critical to be present and available. Sure, you may not be able to spend every waking hour of every day with them, but the time that you do spend together should be valued – whether that’s through playing, exploration, laughing, singing, reading a book together, or just hanging out.
Foster resilience and problem solving
Creating a sense of safety and security isn’t about anticipating every single issue and solving every single problem for your child. It also involves helping them build the resilience that’s required to cope with life’s ups and downs.
It’s about instilling strategies for when things don’t go to plan, when friendships hit a rocky patch or when your child has to handle a tough situation.
How Kitty & Raffy can help
Kitty & Raffy is an Australian brand that’s all about enhancing children's emotional wellbeing. Our flagship product, "Comfort Me Raffy," is a safety-certified emotional support toy designed to help kids manage anxiety.
You can view our full range of products here.
