As much as we hope to protect our children, life inevitably involves the occasional setback and hurdle.
Whether it’s things that don’t go to plan or friendships that fall apart, there will be times when children need to find the resilience to dust themselves off, take a deep breath and get back in the game, even if it isn’t going the way they’d hoped.
In fact, emotional resilience is one of the greatest lessons we can offer our children. So how do you foster a mindset that allows children to recognise a setback, put it in perspective and move along.
Let’s look at the art of building emotional resilience and the growth mindset that underpins it…
What is emotional resilience
Emotional resilience is the ability to bounce back after a setback and it’s a key skill for children to learn.
The reality is, life doesn’t always go to plan. There will be times when friendships falter, people let you down, an important game is lost, or a skill proves harder to master than expected.
And each of those scenarios elicits a range of emotions – from disappointment to anger, embarrassment, sadness, confusion, and more.
Emotional resilience is the ability to adapt to each of these situations while maintaining emotional stability.
It involves bouncing back from setbacks, coping with difficulties, and thriving in the face of hardship.
Essentially, it's the capacity to navigate challenging experiences and recover from adversity swiftly.
The relationship with a growth mindset
Emotional resilience and the growth mindset are closely interlinked, with the growth mindset seeing challenge and adversity as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Both are valuable approaches to life, creating a positive perspective that keeps setbacks in perspective.
How to encourage resilience
Like manners, friendship skills and patience, emotional resilience is something children can learn. It involves developing suitable coping strategies and creating a safe, supportive environment, where feelings are validated.
Outlook not suppression
Emotional resilience isn’t about suppressing, hiding or ignoring negative emotions such as anger, sadness, and disappointment. Instead it’s about acknowledging them and creating healthy responses.
These responses tend to tap into a positive outlook that sees challenge or adversity as something that can be overcome and learned from.
Open communication
Open communication can go a long way to validating big emotions while also reducing their power. Encourage your child to discuss how they feel then offer them the opportunity to see it from a different perspective or brainstorm possible solutions.
Problem solving
Building a sense of emotional resilience involves encouraging a child to find confidence in their own ability to problem solve. Rather than rushing to rescue your child when things don’t go to plan, encourage them to seek out solutions and be flexible in their expectations.
Seek help
In addition to fostering their own ability to problem solve, resilience also involves teaching your child to put your hand up and ask for help when it’s needed. Teach your child it’s ok not to have all the answers and encourage your child to reach out to trusted friends and adults if they need support.
Teach relaxation techniques
It’s natural to feel intense emotions when things don’t pan out the way you hoped or when people let you down. Encourage your child to respond to these feelings with strategies such as deep breathing techniques, mindfulness exercises or muscle relaxation.
It may also involve seeking comfort from a soothing toy while processing their emotions and putting them into perspective.
Model the behaviour
Setbacks are part of life. Show your child how you cope when things don’t go to plan, including sharing your feelings and the strategies you used to move past the disappointment.
How Kitty & Raffy can help
Kitty & Raffy is an Australian brand that’s all about enhancing children's emotional wellbeing. Our flagship product, "Comfort Me Raffy," is a safety-certified emotional support toy designed to help kids manage anxiety.
You can view our full range of products here.
