First day at school, first big playdate, first school camp or that first time sleeping over at a friend’s, chances are your child’s life is filled with milestone moments and exciting firsts.
But what if that excitement is tinged with fear or accompanied by unwelcome anxiety? Let’s look at milestone moments and how to set your child up for stress-free success.
There’s a first time for everything
The thing about being a child is it’s all about firsts – first steps, first friends, first failures and first wins.
That’s life and that’s learning, but it doesn’t always mean those firsts feel easy. The unfamiliar can sometimes be accompanied by fear – fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of being left out, and more.
This fear can make them anxious about encountering the unexpected, or alternatively, about things they envisage that may or may not happen
So, how do you build resilience in your child and help them through that anxiety and fear?
Reassurance
Everyone gets nervous from time to time about situations that may be a little outside their comfort zone.
It’s important to let children know this feeling is normal and reassure them they’re far from alone in experiencing a little anxiety about the unknown.
For example, those first day nerves at school might be eased a little if your child can appreciate everyone is in the same boat.
Listening
Sometimes, simply talking through feelings can help put them in perspective and reduce their power. Ask your child to put their fears into words and share them with you if they can.
What is it that worries them about a specific situation? And is the potential outcome that they fear possible, probable or unlikely? Having a child verbalise that something is unlikely to happen goes a long way to alleviating anxiety.
Strategies
Everyone feels fear, and navigating it is often about implementing the right strategies. In some cases, this will be a simple breathing technique, in others it might be about having something familiar with you in an unfamiliar situation.
For example, homesickness or separation anxiety can often be reduced if your child has their favourite toy with them.
Knowing what to expect
For some children, anxiety about the unfamiliar can be alleviated simply by imagining and mentally walking through a scenario.
For example, if it’s a school camp that has them feeling on edge, talk with them about the experience they can expect to have, including the meals and activities.
If it’s the first day of school nerves, verbally walk your child through what their day might look like, including what will happen when they arrive, how they will find their way around, and what will happen at lunchtime.
Take them past the school so they are familiar with its location and size, and be clear on the time you will pick them up, including the location.
A safety net
Overcoming nerves and anxiety is all about ensuring your child feels safe, secure and supported.
And part of this involves providing them with a safety net. Where should they go or who should they speak with if that anxiety persists and you’re not there?
If it’s a sleepover, let them know they can call you or that you will speak to them at a specific time. If it’s camp, tell them to reach out to their teacher if they’re feeling overwhelmed.
Praise for the bravery
When your child pushes through and is brave in the face of anxiety or fear, that’s worth celebrating.
It’s not easy to feel the fear and do something regardless, so acknowledge them for a job well done, and ask them what strategies helped them through the process.
These then become tools they can use in the future in other situations where they feel outside their comfort zone.
How Kitty & Raffy can help
Kitty & Raffy is an Australian brand that’s all about enhancing children's emotional wellbeing. Our flagship product, "Comfort Me Raffy," is a safety-certified emotional support toy designed to help kids manage anxiety.
You can view our full range of products here.
