Here are the top tips for talking about big feelings, and how you can help children put emotions into words…
Why expression matters
Even adults can struggle to put their feelings into words, but it’s an important skill to learn.
Research indicates the ability to express your emotions helps you regulate and manage them.
It also allows you to understand their root cause and reduce the physical effects associated with that emotion, such as an increased heart rate, rapid breathing and sweaty palms.
But how do you teach your children the skills of labelling the emotions they’re experiencing? Well it involves accepting, encouraging, and providing them with the tools they need to help put their feelings into words.
Building an emotional vocabulary
To help your child express their big feelings, teach them the words they can use to describe them from a young age.
This includes words that subtly differentiate feelings such as ‘frustrated’, ‘disappointed’, ‘worried’, ‘jealous’, ‘angry’, ‘irritated’, ‘relieved’, ‘happy’, ‘proud’ etc.
Having the ability to specifically label the emotion helps your child understand what’s causing it and how to respond.
When a child does find the words to express what they’re feeling, it’s important to validate that emotion, and praise them for finding the courage to put words to what they are experiencing.
Modelling and identifying
Teaching your child how to talk about their feelings isn’t just about telling them, it’s also about modelling behaviour and helping them identify emotions in themselves and others.
For example, if they’re experiencing overwhelming emotions, help them find the words with a simple sentence, such as: “It looks like you’re feeling really frustrated. Want to talk about it?”
Meanwhile, modelling includes sharing how you manage your own positive and negative feelings, including using words to describe them.
For example, “I’m feeling quite frustrated that my phone doesn’t seem to be working, so I’m going to take a few breaths to calm down, and I’ll come back later to try and fix it.”
It’s also helpful to encourage your child to identify feelings and emotions in others.
This might include talking about the feelings a character on a TV show or movie might be experiencing, or reading a picture book and discussing the emotions that the character might be encountering.
Calming down
In addition to providing your child with the words to name their big feelings, it’s also important to then give them the strategies to handle them.
That might include creating a calm down space for those moments when they are feeling ‘frustrated’, ‘angry’, or ‘resentful’.
Perhaps it’s a breathing technique for when they are feeling ‘nervous’, ‘overwhelmed’ or ‘worried’.
Or maybe it’s a soothing toy they can take comfort in if they’re feeling ‘sad’, ‘anxious’, or ‘uncomfortable’.
How Kitty & Raffy can help
Kitty & Raffy is an Australian brand that’s all about enhancing children's emotional wellbeing. Our flagship product, "Comfort Me Raffy," is a safety-certified emotional support toy designed to help kids manage anxiety.
You can view our full range of products here.
